I couldn't sleep because of the nightmares. My time awake and was filled with never-ending flashbacks. I was being assaulted by every terrible memory of combat. These intrusions bombarded my senses. I could see, hear and smell Viet Nam. The screams and shrinks were punctuated by incoming or outgoing shells. Machine guns rattled in my brain. I relived the killing a thousand times a day. The nights were even worse. After a year of shutting myself off from society, I could take no more. I felt I had gone mad and suicide was the only honorable option. I put a loaded rifle in my mouth and pulled the trigger. The rifle misfired.

-- Steve Piscitelli